So this morning while I was in one of my favorite thinking places something hit me. Some relationships can kind of be viewed something like rental property. Let me explain. When you move in you have a lease. That lease says that you’re going to be there generally for some specified length of time. It says that you agree to pay monthly during that time you are there.
So while you’re there and you’re paying monthly, you know that you are in a good place. You’re on equal terms. BUT, if you start to mistreat or neglect what has been entrusted to you, things begin to change. Doesn’t matter if you’ve continued to pay on time, what matters is the maintenance that has been put in. At this point you may end up in a month to month or eviction situation.
Now, on the other hand, If you are not only taking care of things in terms of your monthly payments, but you’re picking up trash here and there without being asked or maybe sweeping a hallway or mowing a lawn, you’ll see a greater appreciation. In turn, now they’re going to do whatever it takes to keep you, because not only do they feel valued, they know your worth.
This goes for both sides. A man needs to know and feel that he is loved, appreciated, valued and needed just as much as a woman does. No matter what your relationship dynamic is. Just coming home is not enough. Empty statements of I love you without action does not work just as the lack of I love you doesn’t either. And remember that thank you goes a long way!
I love you may not be an everyday phrase, but it needs to be one. Thank you on the other should be often. Motivation and support feels like the perfect meal and I need you is a push.
Don’t allow your relationship to feel like a month to month situation.
I’m thankful for you
I love you
I need you
I support you
You’re worth it
It has taken many years, but I have finally come to a deep realization of the hidden anger I’ve had. There has been so many times that I have prayed that the cause would be revealed to me. Times that I have prayed that the anger would be removed. Now that I understand the source, I know what I need to work on.
Today is my father’s birthday (5/14. I’m so late with releasing this post). It has been at least a score since I actually knew/remembered his birthday. I get to credit my bonus Mom for the reminder (that’s a post for another day). For many years I thought that I was over the pain of him not being a constant in my life and him pushing me away and not knowing the original reason of why. I thought that I had completely forgiven him, but waking up literally in tears just from the thought of it being his birthday before opening my eyes has given me a reality check.
Knowing that he never had the chance to meet at least my oldest son kills me. I remember receiving a certified letter about claiming money that was unclaimed from an account of his. Sadly that was the way that I found out that he had passed. I recently found out that he passed away 2 years after I had my oldest son. I think that hurt even more.
What I can, now say since it has been a few months since I initially began this post, I have finally forgiven him. I can also report that not only do I have one brother back, but a total of four and the big sister I’ve always wanted. Again, a post for another day.
Delay doesn’t mean denied.
I know you’re thinking to yourself “What? Change? I don’t need to change for anybody!” or simply wondering what is it that I am talking about?
I was sitting here at my desk thinking about how I really desire to be able to run again. The thought about my desire to run my first 5K this year made me reach out to someone who I knew for a fact has been on my same journey. Someone that has literally gone from dream to catch. Meaning that he went from 5K to Iron Man! Wow! Now that is no small feat. I have known this guy since elementary school. We have watched each other’s journeys over the years. But for me to see how this man has literally conquered and CRUSHED everything in his path has always amazed and inspired me. But, inspiration can only go so far. It takes action.
So, what do I mean that you have to change?
I will run my first 5K this year. I need to make changes to be like the people who are already doing it. That means that I can’t just say ok, the run is tomorrow I got this, BUT I haven’t even been off of the couch in 5 years. It doesn’t work that way. I have to get around those who are doing it. I need to follow the lead of those who have had my journey. Currently, I have gained weight and have not worked out much (even though I have a gym membership near my home. Shame…I know), and cake is my BIGGEST guilty pleasure. Especially strawberry short-cake, but as much as I love it, it is not going to get me to where I desire to be. I have to change to be like those that I desire to be like. No one’s journey is identical, but there are templates that you can follow. Success leaves clues! Same thing goes for lifestyle and business.
I had to come to the realization that I couldn’t be a motivational speaker or mentor hanging with people who were the exact opposite of the message that I desired to deliver. I can’t expect to live a happy and success filled life if I only surround myself with people who complain, talk about other people and make excuses instead of solutions. There is no room for growth there. It is so true that you can become a product of your environment so it is best to monitor what and who’s in it.
Another thing you will learn as you change to be like the people who are doing what you desire to do and living the life that you desire to have, is that you will more than likely learn something. You put yourself in a position to learn what you did not know. That is worth the change alone. Sometimes we think that we have it all figured out when in reality, we don’t know what we do not know. I know exactly where France is, now speaking French….that’s a different story….for now. Je promets 😉
How do you get around these people?
I would have to say you have to step out and get them. Sometimes you may will them into your life just like many other experiences. BUT, at the same time you have to be open and intentional on action! There has been so many times that I have given big time lip service. Meaning that I would talk about what I wanted to do be and have, then did nothing towards it outside of running words together eloquently. Doesn’t really help right? Well, I had to change my mindset and know that it was ok for me to step out and make things happen. I had to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Everything you have EVER desired lives right on the outskirts of your comfort zone. Cross the line and go for it!
Well here it is! I Just created my first post! Yaaaay. I am so excited to share the world from My View with you… This blog is designed to welcome you in to my world. Flaws and all. A place where I not only feel free to be me, but a place where you can connect with me as well.
In this space I will share my successes as well as my adventures as I fail forward (yes, it’s that real.) I will give advice and share my point of view on anything that may come to mind as well as things that you may like to talk about. I think that it is important not only to let people know that they are not alone, but for me to know that I am not alone either lol! You never know how your story can uplift and motivate someone. So let’s get comfortable and let the days begin!